My Positive Home Birth Story | Plus Size Birth
You Can Birth a “Big Baby” At Home!
I found myself at the end of my fifth pregnancy feeling a desire to hold onto and cherish the experience. I think many people feel this way, especially during their last pregnancy. As much as I wanted to continue holding onto my pregnancy, I wanted to hold my baby in my arms more. As these feelings started to grow more intense on the 14th July, two days past my baby’s guess date, I started communicating with my little one and telling them “okay, I’m done with this pregnancy business. It’s time to meet, babe!”
Within 12 hours of this heart-to-heart and following a decent night's sleep, I began to lose my mucous plug at 9 am the following morning. I became excited, that this was a good sign that labor was at least nearer. I spent the morning going between cleaning the last few bits for my planned home birth and relaxing. I prefer to labor at night so I had no desire to do anything to promote daytime labor. I ate, drank, watched a romcom, I did some movements upright on my birth ball and attempted to take a nap with my toddler. I listened to my hypnobirthing tracks as some light surges (contractions) started. They were low, very manageable and sporadic, anywhere from 15- 45 min apart.
I still felt like I did not want to promote labor and the surges stopped completely at 6 pm. My family and I continued life as normally as we could- we had dinner, I showered and the kids played outside. Just before bed time, we removed the table + chairs from the dining room and brought out the birth pool and foam mats, which the kids found incredibly amusing.
Birth pool inflated and ready to go!
Once our youngest three children were in bed, my husband and I took a short walk after 10 pm and sure enough, the surges started up again as I predicted they would. They immediately began being 5- 7 min apart and 45- 60 seconds long. I knew this change was because I felt better able to relax. My husband and 16 year old began filling the birth pool while I continued listening to my hypnobirthing tracks. I felt safe and comfortable adding sound to my exhales, which promoted softening of my jaw and even deeper relaxation. I retreated upstairs at midnight to my dark bedroom where I lied on my side in bed, hoping I might catch a few minutes’ sleep. I rang Ann, my midwife, telling her I wanted her to join us, knowing she had a 2 hour drive ahead of her.
SHORTLY AFTER MY HUSBAND CAME UPSTAIRS VISIBLY UPSET AND TEARFUL STATING WE HAD A SERIOUS PROBLEM.
My birth pool, which we had done a trial run with, had a leak! This was the same birth pool I had used 2x previously and I had no patch kit! Water had slowly saturated the floor from a puncture in the bottom of the pool. Clearly this was not included in the vision of my birth! My surges immediately became more intense, no doubt a response to the stress hormones my body started pumping out in response to this news.
Thankfully I remembered my hypnobirthing techniques and it was still early enough for me to attempt to ring someone for help. A local doula friend had a birth pool + liner I could use, but she was a 40 min drive away one way. I called another friend, Marta, and she agreed to get it for me, thankfully. The idea of my husband having to leave me at home for that length of time filled me with dread.
12:30 AM: Midwife on the way? Check. Birth pool situation being remedied? Check. My birth photographer notified? Check. My husband + son emptied the punctured pool of water and filled some large plastic storage containers with the warm water. Problem solving at its finest! This way the water could simply be transferred into the new pool once it (hopefully) arrived before baby did.
This time became increasingly challenging. I felt like I was waiting on everyone to get to the house as the surges became more and more intense. I had hoped the surges would space out but it wasn't meant to be! My heart was set on a water birth so the idea of dealing with the intensity of labor without the soothing warmth and buoyancy filled me with dread. There were times when I had blips of panic but I did my best to listen to my hypnobirthing tracks, practice the breathing techniques and visualize my body opening + releasing. As a birth doula, I’m well aware of all the different labor positions, but chose to sit in a nursing chair rocking my way through the surges while my husband held my hand, gently massaged my arm + legs and tried to organize things between the surges while we waited for people to start arriving. Every time he left my side, even if it was to help me directly, I awaited his return with every single fiber in my body. I could feel my fear building and I used every hypnobirthing technique I knew to help bring me back down to a place of more calm. It was a cycle of positive self talk, breathing and trusting that my birth would unfold in whatever way it was meant to. I chose to focus on the things I could control, which was my response to the situation and bringing my attention back to the fact that I would be meeting my baby very soon!
Timing my contractions using the Freya app. I stopped timing shortly after this so I could “switch off” and focus on my hypnobirthing better.
2 am: Marta arrived with the pool and surges were now approx 3 min apart. I felt a mixture of relief and impatience when she arrived. Marta suddenly became my unplanned hand-holding and body-soothing companion through the increasingly stronger surges. My hubby + son focused on the pool and I was adamant that I NEEDED someone else by my side at all times. The surges kept moving lower, a throbbing in my upper thighs became overwhelming and I got increasingly more vocal as my discomfort increased. My midwife arrived within 10 min and the RELIEF of her arrival was amazing! I had a chance to express my frustrations- I wanted that damn pool filled, I felt uncomfortable in the rocking chair but also did not want to move and I was very adamant that I now needed TWO people near me! I told Ann on multiple occasions not to leave my side. Marta and Ann held my hands, put counter pressure on my legs to ease the throbbing, offered me water, put a cool cloth on my forehead and Ann coached me through the surges that had reached a serious peak. (Ann later told me my hypnobirthing was clearly helping because my hands were completely limp, even during my surges. I wasn’t tensing up or squeezing.) Her words comforted me when my breathing became more frantic and I felt myself starting to spin to a place of momentary panic. I would also call my husband over, requesting his presence when the surges felt particularly challenging. He really was being pulled in all directions!
The power of a cold face cloth!
At one stage I knew I needed to release the idea of birthing in the birth pool, even if it was currently being filled. I told Ann I could feel the baby moving down but that I felt like I was holding back because I desperately wanted to be in the pool! Ann reminded me that this was my last pregnancy and that I could enjoy this birth. Wrapping my head around that was so challenging. I believe my initial internal dialogue said “fuck off” LOL but then I reminded myself that Ann was right and I had the ability to enjoy the process. I asked about the pool at least 10x while simultaneously trying not to obsess or move too much of my focus to it. I wanted to desperately ask Ann how much longer I had to go, and while I knew she could guess based on her expertise, I also feared she could be wrong. (Ann told me later that she could tell I was fully dilated already upon her arrival). I was beginning to tremble, I told Ann I was scared, I was sweating buckets and I felt like I could not go on- all signs birth is near!
As 3 am approached my headphones were still in with tracks playing, although even the max blue tooth volume was annoyingly not high enough to fully block out the commotion around me. I *knew* I was in transition and I asked Marta and my husband to swap places. Burco boilers and pans on the stove were relentlessly heating water and I needed Marta to take over that task so he could be near me in the rocking chair. I managed to say that I WAS getting in that pool NOW no matter how full or warm it was. My intuition told me I would completely open and soften my pelvic floor once I got into the water, something I really struggled with while in the chair. Ann helped me over and I had a surge while standing supported by her. It was easier to manage than being seated and I regretted not trying to stand earlier!
The amazing otherworldly relief of that pool has to be one of the most magical moments of my life. I knew this baby was coming any minute. At one point I told my husband "if you want to meet your baby, you better get over here now!" I knew the position would be intense, but I knelt with my legs apart while supporting my upper body on the inflatable seat built into the pool. My husband was on my left and Ann on my right. I needed them both as I could feel the heaviness of baby's head in my pelvis. My husband poured warm water down my back as I waited for the next surge to come. This felt heavenly and I remember SMILING on the inside and outside because I knew my baby was moments away!
And then BOOM! My body finally knew it could open and let go with absolute confidence. The throbbing in my thighs completely disappeared and the intensity of my surges felt so overwhelming. I knew I was approaching the end and these sensations were normal. On one hand I felt tapped out but I knew I was so close and we would meet our baby soon if I opened up to these sensations.
It is absolutely no exaggeration that I ROARED this baby out! My vocals were loud, deep and all consuming as I felt baby's head drop further into my pelvis and put pressure on everything during my next surge! My waters released with a loud pop and I gasped at the intensity + surprise. The next three surges are a blur. My body was pushing the baby out on it's own (fetal ejection reflex) but I also felt like I needed to put more power behind it. My roaring continued and I remember throwing my head back at one stage as the power of my body coursed through me. I kept feeling the baby's head and I thought "holy shit, is that a fist!?" next to baby's head, but thankfully it was an ear! Still, I was astounded at the size of the head stretching my perineum! The stinging of crowning was the most intense part of my labor and I was determined to get.baby.out sooner rather than later to get through it. At one point I began holding my breath while pushing and Ann was amazing at reminding me to BREATHE between my vocalizations and recenter my focus so this stage was that bit more controlled.
It took four surges in the pool and my baby's head and body were born at 3:06 am. I was only in the pool for 10 minutes total! I honestly felt complete euphoria and shock. I got through labor, baby was born in water as I had hoped and I DID IT even when things became really challenging. I gently lifted baby from beneath the water, seeing that my prediction was right and we had a little girl! Within the first minute of birth I was laughing, smiling, crying, kissing and talking to our baby. The first things I noticed were her long nails, the vernix on her skin and her full head of hair. I remember excitedly saying to my hubby "isn't she beautiful!?" as Ann commented that she looked big. Then I said she FELT big and she reminded me so much of my daughter, Niamh, when she was born- another larger baby.
My two children, ages 8 and 5, were unbeknownst to me waiting in our front hallway and the look on their faces to see me + baby in the pool was priceless. Niamh guessed baby was a girl and William a boy, but they were both delighted to learn they had a little sister.
The rest of our story involves clean up, passing the placenta, doing umbilical cord burning, family photos, baby's fetal check and weight (10 lbs, 13 oz. with no stitches needed!) and loads of chat about the birth. At one point I said to Marta, "I bet you didn't think you would be staying for my entire birth tonight!" and we all laughed together at the swiftness of what had just happened. It's incredible to look back even 12 hours ago and see how everyone rallied around our family during this unexpected turn of events. My birth WAS more challenging than I anticipated and I was so grateful for the generosity of others who gathered around my family to support us. I am equally as happy that I had my hypnobirthing to rely on when our pool fiasco occurred. My daughter's birth was a step away from the ultra-calm birth I had imagined, however, it was incredibly positive and I think baby Iris was born exactly how she was meant to be.
My dear friend Marta who helped us so much!
To receive help from me personally as you prepare to meet your baby, please get in touch! I am a certified birth doula, hypnobirthing practitioner and childbirth educator! I currently offer one to one in-person or online consultations. Your birth CAN absolutely be positive, no matter what path it takes!
Thank you to Annika, Shelly, Marta, Ann of Private Midwives Ireland, Natasha of Dynasty Photography, my son Aidan and last but not least, my amazing husband Anthony.