My Pregnant Body is Not Yours to Comment on

Let’s Stop Pregnant Body Commentary!

If you're like many pregnant people, then you have probably been exposed to what can only be described as a body commentary free for all.  Whether you identity as "showing" or not, it may seem like everyone has something to say about your body, especially your growing baby bump.

This can be exhausting both emotionally and physically (because stress and emotional responses do impact our physical health).  You may also find hyper-focused body comments really triggering.

IF YOU ARE NOT A PREGNANT PERSON 

Please understand that you are not entitled to make comments about other peoples' bodies.  Yes, this includes during pregnancy!  Someone may feel neutral about you making a comment about their body, but equally, they may not.  Your comments may be unwelcome and they could additionally be received as hurtful or even cause someone to fall into a pattern of disordered eating or exercise.

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"As an eating disorder survivor, someone telling me jokingly 'you sure you aren't having twins!?' may have been enough for me to feel like my bump was too big, or I had put on too much weight. Even just one comment could make me reduce my food intake."

I asked parents to anonymously share comments made about their body during pregnancy and below were the common responses.  I could not believe the number of people told the same thing!  Notice the fatphobic qualities to so many as well!

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Other peoples' bodies are none of your business, even if you mean well.  Please respect anyone who is trying to create healthy boundaries and limit your body-focused comments.

Want to have a great conversation?  There are loads of other things you could say to a pregnant person that have nothing to do with their appearance and/or size of their bump.  You could ask them how they're feeling and allow them to divulge as much as they want.  What are they looking forward to?  You could share that you are excited for them and ask if there is anything they need- both practically now or help postpartum. Are they having a baby shower?  Do they have their hospital bag packed?  Or home birth essentials ready?  You can show a real interest in their pregnancy without ever mentioning their appearance!

FOR PREGNANT FOLKS

If you're currently pregnant, I know it can be incredibly difficult to have your body the topic of conversation whether you like it or not.  Complete strangers may even comment on your body or bump, which is totally unacceptable!

You may feel like there is a lot of pressure for your pregnant body to look a certain way.  There are extremely narrow beauty ideals even in the world of pregnancy that need to be scrapped, stat.  You may feel like your body is "wrong."  It's easy to feel that way when people are saying your bump is too small, it's too big or you "barely look pregnant."

There is no "right" way to be pregnant and no matter what any person says, your body and pregnancy are unique.  Your pregnant body does not require any sort of validation from anyone else.  You are also 100% entitled to set boundaries about your body.  Are people making unwelcome comments?  It's okay to talk to them directly or even send a text, email or use a messaging app to say "hey, I'm trying to get away from focusing so much on how my body/bump looks.  Could you please cut out any comments about my size/appearance when we get together?  I really need your understanding on this."

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It is harder said than done, but whatever body comments you cannot avoid, try to allow them to roll off your back.  If something is annoying or upsetting you, turn to someone you trust where you have a safe space to discuss it.  And lastly, focus on the belief that no matter how your body looks, what your body is doing is 100x more important!  You are growing and nourishing a baby and that is 110% amazing!

Looking for more help or support in feeling positive about your body?  or need a gentle reminder that you are worthy and enough? (because you are!)  Download my body positive pregnancy affirmations track.