My Plus Size Free Birth
My third pregnancy was by far my most challenging. My body developed symptoms of autoimmune health issues which impacted 85% of my skin's surface at six months pregnancy. I was physically and emotionally drained to the max and my mental health had taken a serious hit. My poor husband watched as my usual vibrant self crumbled under my health issues and worries. Thankfully, I had begun to see improvements by the time I gave birth and all of the symptoms impacting my skin meant nothing in regards to my pregnancy— AKA i was not considered “high risk”.
The path through my challenging pregnancy was paved by the excitement of meeting my baby and the love of family and friends. My husband and I wanted a home birth but sadly, with my health issues and reduction in work hours as a result, we simply could not afford a midwife. Our insurance did not cover the cost of a midwife and I was certain of one thing: I wanted to avoid giving birth in a hospital if possible. My last pregnancy ended with some unnecessary birth trauma and I struggled to feel safe + comfortable birthing there again.
After much research and discussion with friends, we opted to give birth at home via freebirth.
My friend, who was also a trained birth doula, was happy enough to support us and we understood she was not a medical professional. We met with her regularly and she helped soothe some of my heightened anxiety levels..
My baby’s estimated birth date was the end of March and I repeatedly told my body that I trusted it to birth like it had twice before. I practiced a lot of meditation, especially when I found it challenging to sleep at night. I told my baby that I was ready to meet them whenever they were ready. Throughout pregnancy I told friends and family that I really wanted to follow my body's lead once labor began… and did I ever!
I was awoken at 4 am by some intense twinges in my very low pelvis. I changed positions a few times thinking that might help- no. I used the toilet thinking that might help- not a chance. These couldn't be contractions, could they? They were so deep in my pelvis and not higher up in my uterus like my previous births. I laid in bed and had a few more that were very strong… this must be it! I woke my husband, who started the birth pool set up!
Click this image to get your pregnancy affirmations digital download!
Twenty minutes and at least three surges later, my husband asked if he should call our doula. I told him “no! This could take hours!” but something immediately became different. The surges became more intense and were one on top of the other. I got a few bits and pieces ready for my birth space but yikes… what was happening!? It felt like I was in transition but how could I be!? I had only been in labor 30 minutes!
I labored in the kitchen often standing and/or leaning against the counter to support myself. I ordered my husband to ring our doula. I told her I needed her NOW! My husband hurried around trying to ensure the pool was filling while also trying to comfort me as I became louder. The surges were one right after the other and I felt like I had no opportunity to comprehend what was happening. I thought to myself, “This is either going to be the most painful labor ever or I’m in transition!”
I stood against my kitchen counter visualizing the surges like waves on a beach— each one would swell, bring my baby closer to me and retreat again. I focused on my breath and the baby moving down. Within minutes of this my waters released with a big gush and covered the kitchen floor. I'm not losing my mind, baby is near! The next two surges were the most intense as I simultaneously felt huge rectal pressure and movement in my pelvis. I knew I needed to get into the birth pool!
DOWNLOAD YOUR FREE HOSPITAL BAG CHECKLIST!
Those ten steps felt like ten miles but once I got into the partially filled pool, it was heaven. My husband followed as I got in and supported me as I rested my upper body against the side of the pool. After my next surge I reached down and said, “I can feel the baby's head!” I think this statement could still be the biggest shock of my husband's life. At this time it was only our family in the house- my doula had not made it yet! My hand rested on my baby's head and I remember thinking how small it felt. I was mindful about slowing down this stage so my perineum could naturally stretch to reduce the chance of tearing.
One more surge and my baby was completely out. I didn't have to actively push, as my body did all the work on its own- also called the fetal ejection reflex. I brought our baby up on my chest, rubbed their back and felt my hands covered in vernix! I was so enthralled I completely forgot to check the sex. It was only when my 11 year old stepped into the room and asked that I had a look! We had a beautiful baby boy!
Our doula arrived 45 minutes later when I was still in the pool bonding and feeding my baby boy! We glanced at the clock shortly following his birth and it was just after 5 am! I was only in labor start to finish fifth just over an hour!
My baby boy is now almost six and his intense personality is certainly in line with his very quick and overwhelming birth. Precipitous labors are defined as those lasting under two hours. They can feel overwhelming, stressful, shocking and even traumatizing for some. For us, I felt like this was the way our experience was meant to be and it was incredibly positive after what was a very challenging pregnancy.
