How Your Partner Can Help During Labor | Tips for Every Stage
There is one thing that all birthing people want and need during labor- to feel supported and safe. Who is supporting you during labor can of course vary. Depending on where you decide to give birth this may include nurses, midwives, doctors, etc. Many people also have their partner, friend, family member or hire a birth doula to support them along the way too.
NO MATTER WHO YOUR CHOSEN BIRTH PARTNER(S) IS/ARE DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE HOW INCREDIBLE THEY CAN BE ON THE DAY!
Television often portrays partners (especially men) as being completely useless, panicked or lost in the background. The truth is your birth partner can be as involved as they want to be! Some partners don't want to be in the thick of things (which is totally okay by the way), while others want to be really involved.
Most birth partners want to help but may not know how! Below you will find a list of practical tips and ways your birth partner can support you on the day. These tips are broken down into stages for ease. (Download or print this same list here!)
THROUGHOUT ALL OF LABOR
Remind them to use the toilet regularly, approx every hour. Emptying the bladder can assist with labor progression
Offer food + drink. Labor requires energy! Most people will continue drinking throughout all of labor but want less food as it progresses.
Tell mom/parent that they are doing amazing! Remind them of their strength, that they are safe and they CAN get through each contraction, one at a time
EARLY LABOR: THIS IS THE FIRST STAGE OF LABOR AND OFTEN THE MOST MILD. EVEN IF SOMEONE IS GIVING BIRTH IN A HOSPITAL OR BIRTH CENTER, IT IS OFTEN BENEFICIAL TO STAY AT HOME DURING THIS PHASE.
Help prioritize rest! Encourage a nap, bath, shower or help organize music/hypnobirthing tracks. If labor starts in the middle of the night (which is common), sleep, sleep, sleep if possible!
Encourage activities that take the focus off labor- go for a short walk, watch a film you enjoy, cook/bake together, engage in intimacy (including sex, if waters have not released).
If any last minute items need to be packed or organized, help with this to keep stress levels low. This checklist may help you!
Once it seems like a pattern is starting to develop for the surges, use a contraction timer app occasionally just to see how frequent + long they are. This does not need to be done continuously or for hours
Organize transfer to the hospital/birth center or ring the midwife if a home birth
If utilizing the support of a doula, notify them that labor has started
Download or print your FREE tips for birth partners guide below!
ACTIVE LABOR: CONTRACTIONS WILL BE INCREASING IN INTENSITY, LENGTH AND FREQUENCY. MORE DISCOMFORT IS TYPICAL.
Be mindful of when contractions are happening. Moms will often need to focus more inward during surges and may prefer silence. It is often easier to communicate during the breaks/rests between contractions if needed.
Create the warm, cozy, safe space the birthing person needs. This often includes dimmed lighting, reducing noise + interruptions. Protect the birth bubble.
Keep mom comfortable. Use pillows, blankets, a peanut ball, fan (if it's hot), etc. to do so. Ask for a birth ball if needed orcensure your own is packed.
Encourage change of position, approx every 45 min. Upright positions help labor progress and keep contractions more effective. Remember UFO (upright, forward and open)
Counterpressure on back/hips, massage as needed (during or between contractions, as preferred)
Encourage slow, deep breathing and breathe WITH birthing person if needed
Organise hypnobirthing tracks and/or music
Help advocate for the birthing person and encourage BRAIN decision making
Certify as a size inclusive birth professional!
TRANSITION: THIS IS THE MOST INTENSE PART OF LABOR AND ALSO THE SHORTEST!
Continue using BRAIN decision making and ensure mom is heard and her wishes respected
Continue promoting upright positions if possible. If mom has received an epidural, helping turn her from side to side every 30 minutes can help open the pelvis
Offer words of encouragement, reassurance and motivation- the end is near!
Aim to keep mom cool- many people will become warm and may start shaking (this is normal!)
Encourage breathing through the contractions and taking them one at a time. These surges tend to be more intense and you may need to breathe in sync with mom
PUSHING: BABY IS ON THE WAY! ALL OF THE RECOMMENDATIONS ABOVE, ESPECIALLY DURING TRANSITION, CAN BE HELPFUL NOW! SEE MORE TIPS BELOW!
Warm compress on the perineum to reduce chance of tearing (if preferred)
Cool compress/towel on the forehead- pushing can be hard work!
Words of encouragement and motivation (You’re doing great! You are so strong! We will be meeting our baby soon!)
Help mom get into any position that feels best for pushing- being in an upright position can reduce the length of pushing, open the pelvis more, reduce the likelihood of episiotomy and tearing
Offer drinks frequently (bring a sports bottle and/or straw)
Encourage mom to “let go” of each contraction once it passes and breathe between them. She can use these resting periods to regain strength, change position if desired and be ready for the next surge + time to push
Looking for prenatal education and/or hypnobirthing support to help you enter labor feeling confident and prepared for any path your birth may take? Get in touch with me to organize your virtual (Zoom) or in-person session!
