My Calm Plus Size Home Birth

It was December 2017 and my baby’s estimated birthday came and went on the 18th.  As 40 weeks passed, I grew more impatient but also more hopeful that my baby would hopefully not be born on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day.

Baby did not arrive over the holidays and I found myself in my wonderful Facebook “due date" group telling the other expecting parents that I was feeling emotionally and physically done.  I was ready to meet my baby and I had a “heart to heart,” with them reassuring them that I was ready for labor whenever they were.  I didn't know it at the time, but hours later labor would begin!

At 8:30 that night I experienced a couple tightening sensations very low in my pelvis, versus in the abdominal area.  Were these contractions?  I noted them and went about my evening putting kids to bed and preparing for a shower.  Just before going in I saw that I had begun to lose my mucous plug!  I sent a message to my midwife and told my husband tonight could be the night! I showered and came out to see my husband and teenage son cleaning.  They knew me well enough to know giving birth in an untidy home would irritate me.  We started a family board game as I sat on my birth ball. I found myself both distracted and irritated.  The "tightening sensations" were now clearly contractions, which I began to time via an app on my phone.  They started to become more frequent and were really manageable.

Download or print your FREE home birth essentials list below!

After the board game my husband and I stayed up watching tv and relaxing.  The contractions started to slow down at 11 PM so I suggested maybe a little intimacy would pick things up again. It didn’t so we prioritized sleep- you never know how long labor will be!  At 3 AM I was woken by contractions that were more intense and regular.  I went downstairs and used both my CUB and birth ball to position myself as I watched tv and had a snack.  The pool was being filled an d my surges (contractions) were approx 7 min apart, ranging from mild to moderate.  At 6 AM my husband and I decided to cover the birth pool and try to sleep again.  

Using my inflated CUB

Surprisingly, my older children slept until 8 AM.  My contractions had slowed to 13-23 min. apart but when they did come, they were definitely more moderate.  I wondered if my children being awake would decrease my oxytocin levels and thus, slow my labor.  I texted my midwife and promised to keep her updated.  I felt certain my contractions would slow down or stop completely as the sun came up.  From 8-9 AM we did our normal routine- ate breakfast and the kids quietly started playing with the toys they got for Christmas.  I told my husband things probably wouldn't pick up so he could run to the shop and I would be fine at home... and oh was I wrong!  

Within 30 minutes of saying that, it felt like someone flipped a switch!  Suddenly my manageable contractions became challenging and I could not talk through them- hello active labor!  I would hunch over and breath through them as they came every 3-5 min.  My three older children being in the house suddenly became incredibly annoying!  I quickly became irritated, especially with my husband.  I WANTED THE KIDS OUT OF THE HOUSE NOW! and I told him so.  My husband and I packed up the three kids with snacks, spare clothes and the "nana and grandad birth bag" that I had previously packed.  The surges were now taking my breath away and making me cranky.  My husband frantically tried to de-ice the car and broke the scraper in the process.  He left with the kids to bring them to my in-laws' house that is just five minutes away.  (He later told me he was so afraid he was going to miss the birth while he was gone!)

My husband was away and I texted my midwife, who also wasn't with me yet, three words- "I need you." It's honestly all I could mentally think of and physically text.  The contractions came on fast and intense.  Being alone for those 15 min. felt like an ETERNITY!  I felt much more emotionally overwhelmed by the surges while I was alone.  I tried different labor positions.  Nothing felt comfortable.  I knew I had to get downstairs to the dining room where the birth pool was.  I slowly made my way down between contractions as I tried to relax, although I wasn't very successful at that point. 

The warmth of the birth pool was wonderful.  I still felt deeply, deeply alone and could not wait for either the midwives or my husband to return.  The midwives arrived first and let themselves in.  My husband arrived a min. or two later.  My vitals were taken and baby's heart beat was checked- all was well.  At this point I started to cry.  I believe my body needed the endorphin release! When the kids were gone and I was surrounded by my support team, it was like I suddenly realized and had to admit this is happening.  I am in labor.  This is going to be hard work and I've got to lean into it to bring this new soul into the world.

I spent the next hour in the birth pool doing my deep breathing and visualization with hypnobirthing tracks playing in the background.  They helped me focus on my breathing and took my attention away from the intensity of my surges.  The most comfortable laboring position was kneeling, but not on all fours.  I kept looking at the vision board I had made and stuck to the wall.  I read the positive birth affirmations and looked at the pictures of my three older children.  Their smiling faces helped me get through the toughest parts.  My husband was also amazing.  He was on.point. with water and snacks and stayed near me.  That is something I really craved during this labor, more than previous ones.  He rubbed my shoulders, back and hips as needed intuitively.  I felt like we were really in-tune with each other.  He wiped a cool cloth along my brow and helped me change positions as needed.

Want to share your birth story!?

At one point I wanted to get out of the pool and into the bathroom.  As I used the toilet, I heard a big POP! and my waters released!  My midwife came in and asked if I thought my waters had broken.  I told her more than once that I didn't know.  It's clear to me now that I really was not using my "thinking brain" but had started to rely on my primitive brain.   This one question required more energy and attention to answer than I was willing to give.  (I look back at this moment and chuckle because it was so obvious that yes, my amniotic sac had burst!)  I felt really comfortable sitting on the toilet but my midwife urged me to get back into the pool.  She clearly knew I was closer to birth than I did!  I slowly made my way back to the pool.  

During the next contraction I felt indescribable bulging in my perineum.  Wait.  Wait.  Wait!  I thought to myself... how is this possible!?  I have not been actively pushing!  This is the beauty of the human body.  Your body and your baby know when it is time.  My uterine muscles had been pushing my baby down.   The next contraction brought my baby's head to my vaginal opening!  I was so overwhelmed because again what the what!?  I hadn't been actively pushing! and I remember saying "help me! help me! help me!"  I didn't realize my baby would be emerging right at that moment!  Truth be told, just minutes earlier I thought I had hours to go before this baby would be born!  The two midwives quickly came to my side and instructed me on how to breathe to slow the crowning process.  I'm soooo happy they were there!  Two seconds later and my baby's head emerged... and there it rested for awhile.  I told my husband to get the camera and there are several pictures of me with our baby's head right there!  I kept my hand on my baby's head as this happened...

Click this image to get your pregnancy affirmations digital download!

My baby's head turned not once, not twice, but three times after it had emerged with my hand gently resting on it.  I also felt the baby's body turn while still inside me several times!  This was... amazing!   Intellectually, I knew the baby's body would make an internal rotation before fully emerging but to be so present during birth as to feel it was something new to me!  I felt everything!  One small push later and the rest of my baby's body emerged at 11:03 AM on Dec. 27th.  Their eyes were wide open and the umbilical cord rested across the back of the neck.  I gently released it, lifted the baby to my chest and sat back as a towel was draped over us both.  I looked and we had...

... a baby boy!

I think back to this experience and it was absolutely everything I wanted from a home birth. I trusted my body and I had a supportive duo of midwives who believed in my ability to birth my baby too. My husband stepped up to be the amazing support person I needed. I’ve never felt more in love with him than I did then. We welcomed our baby calmly and peacefully, just as I had hoped.

Get in touch with me to book your size friendly prenatal education or hypnobirthing session, done via Zoom or in-person!

Is your partner looking for hints + tips for supporting you during labor? Have them read this blog post which will help them feel confident and prepared!